Sugar Cookies

I have never been a baker. It takes timing, knowledge, patience and creative problem solving on the spot with a gentle hand. I always over work dough, over flour and burn. So when I decided I would attempt to make a cookie as a gift for Christmas, I was a little scared at the outcome. Being an explorer at heart I figured " what the fuck" and went with a classic. The sugar cookie. I knew only one person could tell me truly how to do it best...

I used Martha Stewart's Recipe, Ideal Sugar Cookies.
Martha has always been my hero, despite what some people say about her. Now I know she is a stuck up bitch, but she is a Boss Bitch and she knows how to bake. Hell, straight out of jail she was back on t.v making 'green brownies' with the rap icon Snoop Dogg. If that isn't keeping it real, I don't know what is.


Anyways, My cookies came out perfect, 15 min on the dot they were golden. You can cut them into any shape or size and it makes about 2 dozen 4inch sized cut out cookies. I went with circles and oh's because there easy. The frosting I decided I would do classic Royal Icing, which I found out by experience does NOT taste as good as it looks. I didn't research the fact that this icing tasted similar to soap, more so as I saw the words "glossy" and "royal".

Royal Icing Mix
2 large egg whites
2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
3 1/2 cups confectioners (powdered) sugar, sifted
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
food dye for color, optional

In a mixer or hand mixer blend together the egg whites, lemon juice and vanilla on low until blended. Slowly, cup at a time, add in the sugar turning up your mixer to medium low. Do not blend to fast or you will end up with dense whipped cream. Finally, add in the food dye. Use immediately as the icing will begin to harden when exposed to air ( giving it a glossy finish )
Stuff in a pastry bag and your ready to go!

Note: never will I again attempt to make a pastry bag out of parchment paper from scratch. It is the work of satan and far more frustrating than worth the end results. Hail to whoever designed pre made resuable pastry bags.